At least now I have a shoulder to cry on... literally

There are many things I love about my darling partner, but one of the biggest is his ability to reality check me gently yet forcefully.

I had a bad day today. Yet another Tupperware party got canceled. This means that EVERY. SINGLE. PARTY. I have independently scheduled has been canceled, postponed, or turned into a book party. All of them. My prospective host said that she would offer the info at her girl's night on Friday, but did not extend an invitation to me. I will see her tomorrow and ask about it, but I also do not want to intrude or turn her already planned night into my shtick. I would love to make the Oreo Mousse though. I have another "Party in a Bag" going out tomorrow for a dear friend of mine who wants to help me, but is reasonably non committal as she is going through some life stuff. I want to make my $175 this week. I wanted to do $600 last week, even though that was ridiculous. I did $29. So. Yeah. Feeling like a failure. And no, I don't care what anyone tells me about blah blah this that you're doing everything right/enough/working hard, or even the opposite don't listen to "standard" marketers blah blah blah. This is failing. It is failing. I am not making any money and I do not know what to do about it. It is me. There is something about me that people do not like. Again, do not tell me I'm wrong. Because I'm party of an organization full of women who are able to make these simple goals. I realize they struggle too sometimes, but for the amount of effort I am putting in, there should be something. I've had one good month, no thanks to me. Thanks to my amazing older sister who did me a supreme solid. But not to me. I barely did anything. And I am breaking down. Shutting down. I can't do this like this anymore. I need a fucking break. I want to stick with it, but I don't know how much longer I can take the defeat. I put so much out there so often, and I get maybe one or two bites at most, but nothing substantial or sustainable. If I can't get parties, I can't get more parties or recruits. So... no income. What is the point? And again, I look at all these ladies around me, and I just don't get what is so wrong with me that I can't make it happen like they do. I must be the most unattractive person on the planet. Oh well.

And that's just Tupperware. doTERRA is different. I know exactly what I'm not doing right there. I don't talk about it enough. But... every time I do, I just feel like a sales person rather than someone who truly wants to help others be well. I just don't know how to put myself out there without coming off as a snake oil pitcher and actually get any customers or team members. Again. It's me. But here I know what it is, and I just have to keep working at it.

I didn't want to have to do unemployment this off season, but it's looking more and more like I will. My family has been incredibly gracious and given me some money upfront. This has been set aside. It is about half of what I need. And how much have I come up with on my own? About 10% of that. So yeah... 4 months- 5%. Fail. Fail fail fail.

We have one more month of WIC, and then... I don't know... Debt I didn't really want to incur, but otherwise I literally won't eat, or well.. I will eat very little. Which I may do anyway to not have to put so much on cards. But under no circumstances will I let Char feel it. She will get whatever she needs, obviously. I just wish I could offer her more than that.

When I related all of this to Ed earlier, he told me I was overreacting and to stop putting myself so far into the future. I guess he is right. But it's hard to see it that way. I'm a planner. I want to know what is happening a month from now. I want to be able to lay out my schedule 2-3 months in advance. That is a huge part of my problem right now. I don't even know what my work schedule for next week is, and it's Sunday. I know I work Tuesday, but I'm not sure when exactly. AND THIS IS KILLING ME. Both from a personal point of view and a business point of view. How can I fill my gaps if I don't know what they are? Though... right now... it doesn't feel like it would matter, because I don't have anyone to even ask to have a party. The upside to doTERRA is I can do a class whenever I feel like and don't have to rely on anyone else. I suppose I could do my own Tupperware party whenever, but it's not the same. There is no real incentive to do that as again, it would be the same people over and over, and that is not sustainable.

I took one of those stupid online tests today about privilege and it deemed me "very privileged". However there were no questions about welfare, or solo parenting, or being lower middle class, which in this country is a sort of pergatory. Make too much to qualify for aid but not enough to live sustainably. Or I guess I should say consistently. And I refuse to "use" or maybe "abuse" the system. We get what we need when we are eligible and that is all. If I could figure out how to get things going we wouldn't need it at all.

I knew that being an only parent would mean finding other sources of income, or ways to make my money stretch farther, I just did not expect it to be quite this hard. Please don't tell me to budget better. You should see the spread sheet I have. It's not a cash flow issue, it's an income issue. Yes those are two different things. With the job I currently have, there is no way to get a second "regular" job. I also don't want to spend anymore time away from my baby than I already do. That is why these opportunities were perfect. And they still are. I just need to find the kink in the hose and straighten it out to get the spicket flowing.

April 11th Sales Special

Hoping to boost this to make my $600 goal by Friday!!!

For Every Order Placed On or Before April 11^th, You Will Be Entered Into a Drawing For:

$25 Tupperware, $50 Tupperware, ½ Off Items, Free Shipping, 10% Off, 25% Off

AND Date A Party This Week, Receive a FREE GIFT and 10% Off!!

Order from Weekly Flyer (see below), Mid March Brochure, or Full Line Catalog (can be seen at my2.tupperware.com/mariachunn, DO NOT order online to enter drawing)

Contact Maria Chunn to Order: 541 621 0772 or mariachunn.ipc@gmail.com

Supporting our future

Last night we had a very informative meeting about childcare in the work place. A group of parents at my place of business are banding together under the guidance of the amazing Myfawny to try and get a better childcare situation for our company's needs. It has always baffled me, even before becoming a parent, that a company of our size, with the wide range of schedule, and that actively recruits from all over the globe, not just the local region, would NOT have some system in place to help with childcare. We don't even have a resource sheet available. There is literally NO HELP from the company, other than fellow parents sharing the knowledge they have gained through independent research.

Come the fuck on.

Every department has people with children. And in today's society, almost all home have two working parents (or in my case one!!!). Even in the situation where there is a parent who stays home with the children, there are going to be times when childcare is needed. Bottom line: At some point, every single employee with children will need the services of a babysitter or daycare facility, why does the company have NO RESOURCES for this?

I'm not even talking about the grand dream of company assistance or even better an on-site childcare facility. I'm talking about starting with a damn piece of paper and an established relationship with some local care providers. One of the ideas brought up at the meeting was finding providers who would give a discount to our employees, like many of the other businesses in town.

I hear all the arguments: insurance, time, money, space, and I think- yeah... but... if other businesses can do it, why can't we?? I see the biggest obstacle being the show schedules and that many of us work late at night. But, why should we all be scrambling to nail down one of the same pool of young adults that cost $10/hr to watch our kids at night. Also, why the hell does it cost so much these days?? When I babysat as a teen, I was happy to get $10-20 for the NIGHT, 3-4 hrs, not just one hour with one (probably sleeping for most of the time) kid. It kills me. Not just from a financial perspective, but from a "what is this world coming to" perspective.

For the most part, I have to admit, I am not entirely affected by this drought. I have an amazing situation for which I am incredibly thankful. However, I do need a backup plan(s) for those times when my normal care is just not available. And it does happen, and in those moments I reach a low level of panic because I have no safety net. I have no reliable resources beyond my friends. This last offseason/early season, I did find two local providers who were wonderful and I know that I can always call them in a pinch. I'm more than happy to pay for good care, and I don't often have to, but I cannot imagine having to fork over the amount of money some other parents do on a regular basis. Seriously it would be close to my ENTIRE salary if Char was in full time care at a standard facility. I just don't even know how people do it. It blows my mind that we as a community cannot find a better way to meet this basic need.

Something that was brought up at the meeting was the attitude of some non-parents. It has been said that people with children would be getting special treatment if they got childcare assistance. To those people I say: Were you never a child? Were you never in daycare? Were you always in the arms of family? Did your parents never struggle to make sure you were properly cared for? Do you like to see your friends struggle? Do you want children to see their parents stressed out? Do you not care about the well being of your company-mates and the future of our world? Have you never been aware of the wonder that children hold, how fast they can internalize the struggles of adults, and how they are immensely affected by the attitude of the community around them? Are you so selfish and self centered that you cannot see that we as an entire company and community will MAKE BETTER ART if this one burden was taken away from some of us? OPEN YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEARTS!!! Be present. Be a part of a change for the better. Be part of a brighter future for the whole community.

I want my daughter to grow up without having to worry about who is taking care of her. I want her to always feel appreciated and loved and looked after no matter where she is. I don't want to have to stress out about money or time or who is taking care of her tonight while I'm at work til 11-12-1-2-whenever. And I want everyone with children to experience the same sense of calm over their childcare situation. I know that is not the case, and I want to change that.

Opening, Discouragement, Hope, and other things

The Oregon Shakespeare Festival has officially opened its 2014 season. The Cocoanut had a fantastic opening night, including child bothering, Artistic Director lap sitting, wedding ring stealing, and much more pure comedy. A great night was followed by 3 days off. Unheard of. I'm a little out of it right now because I'm not used to all this time. We go for round 2 tomorrow. Let the improv games begin!

I've been feeling internal pressure for my Tupperware business. I'm not getting parties, which means I'm not getting sales. I think I'm picking the wrong places to hand out catalogs, as I am mainly going to businesses. They are hard to follow up with. Here in Talent it is a little easier because a few people I can talk to directly, but in Ashland I'm more anonymous. While I was lamenting exactly this yesterday, my beau pointed out that I have still be going at it, no matter what the outcome, and he thought I was doing a really job. I have been working hard at selling this weeks special promotion, and that is going fairly well, thanks to the help of my amazing big sister in California. I am ever so grateful that she has stepped up to the challenge.

At the beginning of the week, I was $200 and 2 weeks away from my first major Tupperware goal. If I can sell $200 retail value worth of product by March 8th, the company will pick up the remaining $69 owed on my business kit, which means I'll have gone into business for myself for only $30. Whoa. That being said... I've already bought a bunch of stuff for myself! Lol! Not to mention sales aids. So I've already put more than $69 into the business. This is why I will feel completely downhearted if I cannot make that goal. As of earlier today I was $170 away, not including the sales that will go in at the end of the week. Those will put me closer to $100 left. $100!!! In a week! Oi. I know I can do it if I can just find the right people to ask to either have a party or buy a few items. I mean, if I could get 5 people to spend $20... done. The problem that I run into is asking. Because it's sales right? Not a charity. Though in reality it is a sort of charity. It's the "Make sure both Charlotte and Maria eat in the off season, because Maria gets really cranky when she's not eating enough" charity. And trust me, I'm probably still not eating enough out of fear of running out of funds somewhere down the line. But that is my hyper-money-conscious, must-plan-way-in-advance self reacting that way. I know it's not all as dire as that. I have already had some very generous offers from family and friends. From the bottom of my heart (and stomach!) I am thankful. And Charlotte doesn't even realize it, but she is thankful too.

Still... I'm selling something. Therefore it's income. And therefore, since it is really benefiting only me and requiring others to spend their hard earned money toward my personal cause, it is extremely difficult to ask. Putting myself out there is not something I do easily, but I am getting better at it. This is my personal challenge to myself and why I am going to stick with this no matter the outcome. I need to do this to further myself personally so I can further myself professionally in any path. Confidence is key. And success is about determination. Not hearing "No" but hearing the hidden requests, the unspoken information, that will get the "Yes".

Sorry babe, but we're not best friends

My boyfriend is rad. But he's not my best friend. And he knows it, cause I've told him so. And he agrees with me.

I regularly see in social and standard media people referring to their partners as their best friends. On both sides. And this is great, for those people. I absolutely, sincerely, love love and people being in love, and if for some of those people that means they as a couple are best friends, I applaud them. But for me, I need an outside source, someone I can "dish" to.

Now, this doesn't mean that my beau and I don't communicate well. This is probably the most honest and open relationship I've had. We can talk about anything, but we don't. There are things I do not share with him because frankly he doesn't care. Nor should he. And I don't need all the intricate details of every interest he has ever had, thankyouverymuch. Yet, the conversations keep rolling. We are constantly learning new things about each other, and it is amazing. We are not afraid to tell each other the silliest things we can think of. We are also not afraid to be upset in front of or with each other. Sometimes we're a little too open. A regular question we both say out loud is "Why am I telling you this?" He's the only person I've ever met that talks more than me, so you can imagine how wordy we are together. But no matter how much we share, he is not my best friend.

My best friends are a couple of ladies and another dude. Why do I consider them best friends and not my boyfriend?? Because in moments of truth, their love is unconditional. Because we can say the hard thing without fear of rejection. Because loneliness isn't a consequence of a misunderstanding. Because sometimes I need to complain about my guy, and he is not the appropriate audience.

I can tell my wonderful, thoughtful, caring, infuriating, perplexing darling anything I choose. And sometimes I choose to spare him because those are the things that best friends are for.

Whirlwinds

The last few days have been difficult. I was in tech all week, which meant little time at home or with my baby. It definitely showed in both instances.

Sunday night, Char Star slept with me, cause I was tired and just wanted to cuddle. She doesn't not stay in one position though, so I am often woken up by little feet or hands jabbing at me. I am okay with this. But it did mean little good sleep.

Monday was a train wreck of a day, with one decent spot toward the end. Both Char and I were tired and cranky. We got into a screaming match at one point because she destroyed the downstairs and I really didn't have time to clean it up. But I did anyway, and instead of taking a short nap when she did, I had to spend all the time taking care of my business and the house. I also didn't get to clean my room at all, which had previous been a priority.

Monday night was my first doTERRA class. It was a moderate success. I had 3 people come, one of whom is on my team, the other two are new to EOs. I think it went very well, especially since we went over time discussing all the different oils and ways to use them. I will be setting up one on one consults with each of the ladies that came, and eventually holding a Medicine Cabinet Makeover with one of them. I will be incredibly happy to get two new enrollments.

After we got home, it took awhile to get Char to sleep and that just put me over the edge. Thankfully for me, but problematic for him, Ed had come over. He helped a bleary, teary, tired, frazzled mama get herself and her house back together. I felt bad that he walked into a terrible situation, but he took it in stride.

Yesterday I felt alot better. My day started well and ended wonderfully when I came home to a surprise. Very clean house!! Ed finished what we started the night before. I immediately texted him thank you. He said it seemed like I needed a break. Yeah, that's an understatement!!!! He even changed the sheets on my bed and folded some of Char's laundry. Geez, sometimes he just really blows me away. It's too bad he wasn't actually here for me to give him a huge hug.

Today begins anew. I'm rested. I have a plan. Hopefully I have time. I have a beautiful baby girl and a thoughtful caring beau. Time to go out and kick this world's ass!!

The home stretch

This has been a rough week. I am tired. Tomorrow night is first preview for The Cocoanuts. I will have to try not to cackle with an audience on the other side of the glass. It is not sound proof.

Today I did something crazy for me. I talked to strangers. A bunch of strangers. We did a Tupperware event called "Embrace the Community" where we went out as a team and just talked to people. We offered them little gifts and had drawing entry forms they could fill out. As one guy pointed out "they're trying to get contacts." Well, yes. Of course. It's network marketing. It's all about contacts. 2 of my people won prizes, so that was cool. And I now have a bunch of people I'll be sending catalogs to. Even if they don't have a party, they were interested in the product. Funnily, most of the people I got were younger. But we all had a great time, and it was awesome to connect with my Tupperware teammates and get to know them better. Doing things like that also helps me come out of my shell a little more, which is the only way either of my ventures are going to work.

Numbers update: Put in a $200 RS order on Friday, which means I am now down to $250 by March 8th. Three weeks!!! I have to get at least two parties squeezed in somewhere, as my average right now is around $100/party. I'm hoping these leads today will help.

Monday is my first doTERRA class. I'm very excited! Though I just realized a bunch of stuff I bought for it might not get here cause it's a holiday. Ugh. Well, I haven't checked the mail today, and it's highly possible it's already here. If not, copy machines exist.


Okay, I"m fading. I really want to say more about the class but my brain is getting fuzzy.

Long day's journey

Into a late night. Still at work. I'm not getting out of here at midnight. I really hate these long days. They make me nervous about driving home with Char because I'm so tired. It is also irritating that my schedule has been changed twice today, resulting in a way longer day than I was prepared for.

I want to cry. My baby doesn't care about my work schedule. She's going to be awake at 7am no matter when I get to sleep. I have to work the schedule they give me, which doesn't and shouldn't account for my baby. Not to mention we are currently getting our schedule one week at a time, about 3-4 days in advance right now. Makes it difficult to plan for anything.

In better news I got another Tupperware sale today and am pretty sure I've made as consistent doTERRA customer. Little victories.

So much for going to bed early!!

I told myself an hour ago that I was going to bed in half an hour!! Obviously that's not so, and I didn't even finish everything I wanted to do tonight. Though I am closer.

I spent some time working on the Success Challenge through my Success Planner and Lead Guide. Some deep stuff there. Sunday I went to Arin Ingraham's Pathway to Diamond seminar at Ashland Springs Hotel and it was a total kick in the ass. In a very good way. I now have more tools to get further ahead in my business. I've done some brainstorming and idea bouncing and I think I have come up with ways in both businesses to generate interest. I'm having a class on Monday, for which I made flyers tonight that I can pass around tomorrow. A few big ones and some smaller leaflets. I need to invest in some plain cardstock.

Today I downloaded Napolean Hill's Think and Grow Rich. I have read the intro. I'm excited to get into the meat of the book. It is suggested in the forward that the reader only tackle one chapter a day, so that will be my goal. I'm not sure how reasonable that is with everything I have going on currently, but at the very least, I will say that if I start a chapter, I will finish it that day. I'd like to read through the book by the end of the month, and then read it a second time. There are plenty more books I need to be reading too, in general. I should finish the Wheel of Time series. I'm on book... uh... 10? Stuff is getting good! I hope some of my predictions are right.

Chipping away

Attempted another Tupperware get together tonight. Still not very successful, but at least there were sales and good food and friendly conversation. I netted about $50, which means I only have $400 more in sales to do before March 8th. Doable. I pronounce it. I'm trying to get a "Tupper Lunch" going for Saturday. That's the term I'm coining for bringing the products to someone's home or work place and making them lunch. I have an idea for the first one and can continue to expand on recipes as I get a feel for what people like at lunch time. I have to get back to one friend about it, thought I'm not sure it's her cup of tea. I have another I will be calling tomorrow to see if she'd be into it. There are yet more people on my list as well. A friend today made some very good suggestions on places where I might be able to drum up some business that I hadn't thought of yet. I need to bring more catalogs to work too.

So, the numbers, for Gabriel.

Goal $450
Tonight's sales $50
Need $400

I might have something else going in Friday for about $100. If that happens then I'm down to $300. That would be sweet.

Run down

I am not sick, but damn I am tired and listless. I'm realizing how different my daily routine has become, and now that I've deviated from it, I see how much better I was feeling. I know I said I'd see this month through, but I'm starting to think that's a bad idea.

I spent yesterday afternoon with a wonderful group of people learning how to expand our doTERRA business. So much good insight. I have my first class planned. I just booked the space tonight. I'm super excited. Tomorrow I'll make flyers and a Facebook event. I'm feeling more confident about building my team.

Tupperware is a different story. I just can't seem to crack the market. All these ladies in Medford and north of there are rockin it, but I can't get anyone to bite. Ed's mom is graciously hosting a party tomorrow, but she doesn't know how many people will actually show. I told her him to tell her that was fine. I know she has two people who want to place orders, so at the very least I'll have that. I also have another order coming in from a coworker that I'll be adding. I'm hoping that some of the deals we have will get me a few extra sales. I just have to keep pushing on. $450 by March 8th. That's the goal.

We are watching the Beatles special. So so awesome. And now I have to go back to work. Boo!!!! I hope I'll be able to catch the rest of it tomorrow.

Affirmations

Going along with Visualization, this morning I decided to begin doing Affirmations. This is what I started with:

Rubbed White Fir on my feet while saying "I have no inflammation."
Followed by Citrus Bliss on my feet while saying "I feel energized."

I felt pretty good most of the day. I think I'm gonna stick with this for the week and see what happens. I'm considering adding Balance tomorrow as well.

This evening I did three on my feet. The same thing with White Fir, and then
Rosemary: "I will see my dreams come true."
Lavender: "I will sleep well and be prepared for tomorrow."

So there it is.

In other news, I don't know what I ate, or if it's hormones, or if it's the changed vitamin regime, but I'm seriously bloated. Like, visibly and uncomfortably. I've put DigestZen and now Peppermint on my tummy. It's better than it was an hour ago, but YUCK!!!!! It just came out of nowhere about 2 hours ago while I was eating. It's freaky cause I look pregnant. Like 4 mos along. Haha. Do not worry y'all; there's no bun in this oven, just some hot air. Zing! But yes, very uncomfortable. And so, I'm going to bed. Have to be up extra early, and I want to get some good sleep cause I have a big day tomorrow. Early work call, and then Pathway to Diamond training. Woot!

More revelations

Two night ago the title and subject of my post were something my darling beau said to me as I began to blog. He had a point. Not long after I finished up and signed off, thinking about his comment and how Char tends to react to my computer usage, I decided that as long as they are around, I have to reign myself in with the computer. Yes there are things I need to do, and I will, but sometimes I'm just filling dead air. And there are better ways to do that. So that night, I turned to the totally awesome dude that I have piles and piles of fun with and said "If you ever feel like I'm paying too much attention to things, and not enough to you, just tell me." And I mean it.

I tend to blog around the same time every night. It's late. It's the end of my day. I've tried a few times to do it earlier, but I like the feeling of putting a capstone on all the experiences of my waking cycle. And I like putting out goals into the universe to take to dreamland. It makes me feel fulfilled to do this last in my day. But that means that all the time before these few briefs minutes have to spent filled with my family and my home. I need to do those things first so I have the experiences to record.

Tonight it's just me and my baby girl, and we got home late, so there wasn't too much play time before bath and bed time. But I still waited until she was safely tucked in to pull out the laptop and get to business.

I should have cleaned the kitchen and attempted to work on my bedroom tonight, but I fear the change up in vitamin routine had me running at 1/2 speed. Holy cow, the difference. I seriously feel run down like I haven't for ages. I didn't realize how awesome I was feeling with the LLV until not using it for the last 5 days. Yeesh. But I committed to this trial regime, and I'm going to stick with it for this month. But dude, seriously, March 1, LLV. Just... Wow...

Visualization, Intention, Action

I am becoming more and more of a believer in Visualization. If you can dream it, you can be it. Recently I have experienced this is very real, though small ways.

Last Saturday, during our Tupperware webinar, my name was pulled in drawing. As I was sitting listening to the call, I kept thinking about winning something, anything, even just recognition. My name was on a few lists and I was welcomed as a new member of the team. At the end of the call, 4 names were pulled. I didn't think anything with the first name, then at the second I thought "wouldn't it be cool if....". At the third I said to myself "I want to win." And the fourth name was mine. I still don't know yet what I get, since I could not make it to Rally tonight, but it doesn't even matter. I know it will be something good, and I know it means that I'm on the right path. My stars are aligning.

The reason I was not at Rally tonight was two fold. First, I did not get off work until 630. It would then be a 1/2 hr + drive to Central Point from Ashland to be there for maybe an hour and have to go all the way back to Ashland to get Char. (I need to work out a better Weds night babysitting option if I can, one closer to or in my home.) Knowing this, I agreed to go to a doTERRA event, which started at 7. I arrived ASAP to attempt to help with set up, but only really managed to put out a few chairs. I received two raffle tickets for registering on Eventbrite, which was a fluke to begin with. The flyers says you should only get one. I didn't really think about it when she handed me two. I honestly didn't notice I just took what she gave me. So I'm in a room full of people who all have at least one ticket, and some have more because you can also purchase them ( There's even a $20 deal). I won not once, but twice. Both my tickets. The first prize was some incense which I am curious to check out. The second prize is the important one. It was in the last raffle. Earlier in the night, a bottle of Citrus Bliss had been given out, and I began thinking about how much I wanted that oil. In fact, I thought about it throughout the next two raffles. And again, right at the end of the last raffle, my second ticket was pulled. Holy moly Universe, thank you! THANK YOU!!!

You can call this whatever you want. During the business portion of the evening, Arin talked about making dream boards and using visualization. Merry has also talked to me about setting goals and keeping tracking of them. So this is what I'm doing right now.

My doTERRA minimum goal for this month: 600 OV and one enrollment.
My Tupperware minimum goal for this month: $450 in sales.

My overall minimum goal for this year: $300 in "extra" income (profit) per month. This will offset my car payment and my student loan, and therefore free up that money to go toward my major goal of Having A Better Home.

This was my epiphany tonight. I've been talking about how I want to make more money, get ahead, get out of debt, not rely on unemployment, be more financially stable for my daughter. But that's the easy way to put it, the way everyone can understand upfront. It also seems to be the selfish greedy way, which is something I've struggled with in terms of presenting an image of what I'm doing with network marketing. Sitting in that room tonight, it became clear. It's not really about money at the end of the day. Yes, that will be the means to the end, but that is not the core. The core is to have a better home. A clean, healthy, organized, happy, loving home for myself, my daughter, and my partner (even if he doesn't live with us, he's still a part of our home life). This is a hug task that is going to take a long time and involve habit breaking and making and SO MUCH CLEANING! Ugh. But it's time. It's time to find the better path. It's time to start doing what I want to do, so that my home is filled with love and light. It's time to live my dreams.

You're on your computer again??

Yes! But only for a minute. The boy asks this pretty much every night he is here. But the fact is, almost everything I need to do in a day now involves some kind of computer time. Char is more direct. She just walks over and closes my laptop. Haha. 

I'm trying out a new vitamin regime. I was doing doTERRA's LLV and Zendocrine. This month I'm going to totally switch it up and do doTERRA's DDR Prime, a different companies probiotic, a regular one-a-day, and the flaxseed oil I'd been taking previously. It's been two days, so nothing to report, but I'm in an experimental mood. I think next month I'll go back to LLV and maybe stick with the probiotic. 

Pounding the pavement

Today Charlotte and I went for a walk. I took the opportunity to check in with the places I dropped off business cards on Saturday. No takers yet, but at least two of them were still responsive. The third place, even though they try to say they are pro-community, seems really resistant to any sort of business to business interaction. Very silly. I also dropped of flyers and cards at another community board and for the Ray's staff and City Hall staff. They were all very nice. There are still a few more places that I want to stop by, but it will have to wait til next week. Tomorrow I'm going into Ashland for a bit and may do some flyering there. It's the bagel party. Free lunch!!!

I dropped off my Tupperware orders in Medford tonight as well, and talked to both ladies about having parties. They are looking for good dates. I still really wish I had something going on tomorrow night, but that's not looking like it will happen. But I've been giving out my card like crazy. I had an insane thought that if I could get 15 a day out (which I've managed to do in some way the last two days), I would have passed on 450 in a month. That's like, almost all of them. Haha.

I met another one of my neighbors today. She also does doTERRA and is in one of my other neighbor's teams. Small world. I have an event with them on Wednesday. Trying to get more people to come to that as well. I want to set up my own class. I will probably do it the 17th and am thinking about doing Wild Orange since I have samples that I have been giving out. I am also thinking about doing a class on EOs for emotional healing. I know it may seem trite, but everyone being upset over Philip Seymour Hoffman has made me think about how hard it is to let go of negativity. Sometimes we can't just move on. No one should feel like they aren't worthy of help, or that their demons are too strong to conquer. We need to look out for each other. If I can help one person reach out and move forward, I will be grateful.

We're in Business!

I got business cards.

Not the greatest picture. The cards are light blue with brown and white detail. I really like them. I especially like my initial being on there. Makes me feel grown up. I bought 500. I have set myself a ridiculous goal to get rid of half of them by the end of the month. That's huge. HUGE. I'm not worried about whether it's possible or not, just that I have a number in mind. Visualization is key.

Speaking of visualization, I need to figure out a way to make $450 in retail Tupperware sales happen this month. So far, I've been hoofing it old school style: personally going out around town and handing out brochures and now my business card. I've gotten mostly disinterest, which is a bummer. Today I went to three businesses here in Talent. One guy might as well have just handed it back to me, I'd hate the info to go to waste. The second guy was very enthusiastic and said he'd talk to his wife about it. I will go check in with him on Monday and just say, and probably get lunch or something. The third place took what I had politely and said she would pass it on to the owner. I also put flyers up on two community boards. I'm gonna hit more of those on Monday as well.

I really really really really really want to get parties on the books, but I'm not finding my market. It's driving me crazy. How are all these ladies in Medford getting tons of parties and recruits and I have NOTHING! I am incredibly thankful to the 6 people who have purchased from me, as well as my team leader. However... I need to continually generate income, and I can't rely on the same few people. That's not fair to anyone! And I don't want to wait til the weather gets nicer for my neighbors to want to do things. I mean, I want to plan things with my neighbors, but I'd like that to be a little separate too. I've been bringing what products I can to work, but that's only been a few days, and no one has commented really. And I already have one product I'm going to buy back from my friend because it doesn't do what she thought it would do. In the long run it's okay, because now I have a display and a demo version of that product, meaning I can sell the display one. I just need something to catch on here. Like, really really need it, or I just don't know what is going to happen at the end of this year. This can't fail. I need to find the path to make it take off, and soon.

Late nights, early mornings

Tech day 2 done. We made it to what I'm assuming is intermission right at the end of the night. At least we made it to a blackout. That usually means the end of something. Ha. This afternoon we are doing gag choreo rehearsal. Timing is everything, as they say. I also have some clean up notes to do in the board. We are finding all kinds of new bugs and changes in the latest software. This board, with it's vast functionality, wants you to be very specific in how you record/update things. Learning something every day!!! I need to dig deeper into programming the PL4s as well. By nature, they do not uniformly color mix as well (relatively) as the Nexeras, though they are brighter, but they can snap to a color. Nexeras cannot do 1 counts. That is certainly an advantage of the PL4s.

I logged into my first full Tupperware Saturday morning webinar today. So much good information, and I'm motivated to take this to the next step. I have truly realized that while doTERRA is my personal passion, that is not where I'm looking to make the real money. That is about getting healthy, staying healthy, and helping other people be healthy. That will be purely residual income, just padding the accounts. Tupperware is where I want to do Business. That's what I'm going to Sell. Now I just have to find people to be on board with me!! Last night, my babysitter's husband tried to tell me it was a pyramid scheme because years ago the gov't took TB to court over the party system. Well, I don't  know if it was because of that or what, but TB is VERY CLEAR about it's expectations, sales goals and levels, and promotions for host, consumers, and consultants. Not to mention the fact that there is an actual product that goes into people's hands. I understand what he was saying, I just think he doesn't have all the info, and well, he's wrong. Selling is selling. If you have something people want to buy, they will buy it. It's about getting the info to the right people. Yes, most people at Tupperware parties have already been to a TB party. What does that tell you??

I got my business cards yesterday. This morning I'm going to make up a new flyer and go for a quick walk with Char Baby to some local businesses and offer my service for kitchen cabinet makeovers. We have a few cafes and restaurants right here that might be interested. Seems like I'm doing this the old fashioned way: On foot, by the seat of my pants!

Once more unto the breach

Well here we are again folks. Tech time. Tonight was the first technical rehearsal for The Cocoanuts. It's gonna be a fun one. So far the artistic team seems to really gel, which is great. We are keeping a good pace. I have no idea how long the show is (I've heard 2.5 and 3 hours), nor how many scenes, but we made it up to page 20 or thereabouts in the script, which seems decent.

I sent out an offer at the beginning of the week to the run crews and actors for some doTERRA samples. So far, I've given out 6 of the 20 sets I have. I'm thinking about pitching it again top of next week, or just talking about it around. I'm hoping that the people who have them already will start using them, and then others will ask them about it, which will lead back to me. I'm learning that doTERRA and essential oils have to be a word-of-mouth, experience-sharing, one-on-one kind of sell. As soon as I identify those people who are really interested, this is going to be the easier market for me.

Tupperware is a whole other thing. It's kind cutthroat!! But I like it. It's balance. Yin and yang. I have Monday and Tuesday off, and I'm trying to brainstorm ways to get at least one party in. I have other evenings available next week too, but it's easiest when I have nothing else happening that day to plan and arrange and find someone to watch Char Star. It's a bummer I'm in tech all day Sunday, cause the Super Bowl seems like an amazing opportunity for a Tupperware party. I still may try to bring in some stuff to tech. Maybe make salsa again, in the green room on a break. Show off my stuff!! We'll see. Either way, I really want to make stuff happen. I'm soooo ready to get on all of this. I'm kinda amazed how truly excited I am. I just have to find people to get on board with me.

Rally!!

Went to my first Tupperware Rally and new consultant's class tonight. It was pretty fun. I got some goodies to help with parties, and alot of good ideas. Oh, and some spanish brochures, which I was thinking of buying anyway.

Tomorrow I start tech for Cocoanuts. Oi. It's gonna be a wild one. Time to get some sleep!!

Building Bridges

Tonight's get together did not go as well as I hoped. In fact, it didn't really go at all, from a party/business stand point. I made some good salsa and guacamole. Two people stopped by. Nobody bought anything. BUT I made some connections. I talked to two of my neighbors that I didn't know until Sunday evening, and tonight I got to know them better. They are both into having more community events. I've lived here almost two years, and nobody NOBODY has done anything like this. Yes, we have HOA meetings quarterly or maybe semi-annually, but that's not really a social gathering. Now we're talking about potlucks. So today, even though I didn't build my business, I built my community. And I did get to talk about my business, so maybe in the future I will have some customers. 

I learned alot today. I gained some new ideas on how to sell the products I have. I gained two new friends. And I gained some perspective. A year ago, I would have considered tonight a huge failure, and I probably would have given up about an hour in. But today I stuck with it. I made the food, set up the table, was available and present for those people who stopped by. We played with Charlotte and had great conversation. (That kid is a hit everywhere she goes. I should just put her in a sandwich board and let her walk around town. Ha.) I built bridges. And bridges lead us over obstacles. 

That's nuts!!

I hate nuts. All nuts. I have never liked them. When I was a kid, I would attempt to eat peanuts when everyone else was eating them, and I always thought they were gross. I have tried several different nuts, and all I can say is walnuts are the most tolerable and almonds are disgusting.

Ironically, I do not mind nut-derived things. I like peanut butter and love Nutella. I'm a fan of almond scent blends and that gooey pecan filling for pies (but not so much the actual pecans). Again, I can even handle walnuts, as long as they are in a salad or pasta, and the occasional macadamia in a cookie. I also enjoy hazelnut milk. (Are pinenuts nuts? Cause those are also okay. But a peanut isn't really a nut either... hmm...)

Everyone always says "How can you hate nuts?? They are so good for you!!" As if that means anything. Fast food is TERRIBLE for you, but people love it. Brussell sprouts are anecdotally good for you but are traditionally unliked. I don't like avocado either, and those are super healthy. It doesn't matter how amazing they are, I'm probably going to gag if I just eat nuts by themselves. No I'm not allergic. I just really really really do not like nuts.

As mentioned above, I find almonds particularly nasty, which is just cruel in some ways, as they are the healthiest of nuts. Recently though, in an effort to eat healthier and have more snacking options, I have decided to force myself to like nuts, starting with almonds, the most foul. Why?? Because if I can get past my loathing of almonds, I can do anything. (I used to work in a bakery. We made burnt almond cake daily. I had to frost them and stick the almonds to the outside. It was my least favorite thing; I often took a break or went to the bathroom right about the time we would do it so I could get out of it.)

I already buy almond milk for Char. I keep her regular milk intake just below the minimum, and she is down to two bottles a day, for naps and bedtime. I give her almond milk with breakfast sometimes. Awhile back, I accidentally poured myself a cup of almond milk instead of soy milk (the Fred Meyer packaging for both is nearly identical). I took one big gulp, and instantly realized and regretted my mistake. But a few weeks ago, when I made my decision about nuts, I started with the easiest, handiest thing- almond milk. I have discovered that if I add things to it, and have it hot, it is bearable. So far I prefer it with chai over soy, and I've been putting a drop of OnGuard in hot almond milk before bed to prevent colds. I still do not like it cold by itself, but I have decided to stop buying soy milk as often and stick to the almond milk as a staple alternative beverage. I have a bag of whole almonds sitting in my cabinet waiting to be made into face scrub, but I may try my hand at making my own almond milk too. I doubt however that I will be attempting to eat them anytime soon.

Skip it

Last night was the first night that I've truly been just too tired to push through and do my blogging and planking. Up til now, I've always just said "No, you need to do this, just get it done, then it's over, you'll feel better." Last night I just couldn't do it. My wrists hurt. I felt totally drained. I just started taking an antibiotic, and I don't know if that's affecting me, but I feel a little off.

Yesterday I made two flyers, so I actually accomplished my building hour. Then I found a new ghost show: Deep South Paranormal. It is interesting. I like their accents and they say some silly stuff.

It's Sunday! I have to work. Hopefully today is the last day of scrambling for childcare. Fingers crossed.

This counts right??

So I've been failing a little at "building" an hour a day now that we are in the thick of it at work. But I have been playing "Uncharted" for about an hour a day. That counts right?? I mean video games build critical and strategic thinking and hand eye coordination... right?

Somebody help me out here!! Haha. Oh boy.

I am feeling empty brained tonight. Don't really have anything to say other than today was a good day. I think things are starting to finally move in the right direction. My boat is afloat. :)

Jumping hurdles

Today has been.... yeah.

A Tupperware party I had set up for Saturday got postponed. That in and of itself is not a big deal, and I totally understand. What is a big deal is that I was really excited for it, am really excited to do a party, and I want to generate income. Not to mention I feel like I'm letting people (managers) down right now in both Tupperware and doTERRA. I know that is just pressure I'm putting on myself, and I've dealt with it in some ways, but at the same time, I'm raring to go, why isn't any one interested?? Grrrr! I just don't have the right market, but I have no idea where to FIND that market.

I did some creative thinking today and I believe I have solved last night's problem, and after talking to my TW manager today, I think I have a plan there too. I'm just going to have another Tupperware party here. I'll do it open house style and have everything in my kit set out, and use the items I can to make stuff for guests. I'm bummed that my steamer isn't going to be here on time, so I may have to see if there is someone in the area I can borrow one from. There are many things that can be made in it. I may try the hamburger sliders, but I haven't decided yet. I can definitely do yams or regular potatoes again, and broccoli. I can make salsa and guacamole in my Pro Chef. The first step though, is to do it the old fashioned way, and go door to door to my neighbors and invite them over for a social! I have a few other places I can put it out there, and hopefully at least a few people will see some things they like.

The main mission here is to keep a positive attitude and just keep working. Keep finding those needs and trying to fill them.

Stumped

I have come upon a frustrating roadblock in my travels to share doTERRA and how it has changed my life with as many people as possible.

We are about to go into tech. Tech is stressful. I have tools in my back pocket to help with that, specifically a bunch of samples that I want to give to people who feel in need. I can identify those people easily: Actors and run crew. I can easily send an email that will get to the run crews through our company mail. Actors not so much. They are on a separate list, since many of them use their personal emails, and I do not have ready access to this list. So far my inquiries have been met with trepidation. I absolutely understand not wanting to give out the info, and I am happy to go through conduits, but it seems unfair to me that even digitally, the acting company is cut off from the rest of us. I see a need, and I cannot fulfill it. Ugh!!!

I am in the process of crafting just the right email to send to everyone and hope that someone(s) will forward it to the acting company. I won't have all the samples until next week, so I have a little while. I initially wanted to hold an event, but after researching that option, it seems it would be best to wait until I have guaranteed interest. Finding a space and a time has proved difficult, and I am low on time and funds.

The part that is possibly most frustrating is that I truly do not care if none of them buy anything from me or enroll. I just want to share my experience, about how my chronic condition is alleviated by these products. I know how physically and emotionally demanding being part of a show for 9 months is, and I spend all year hearing from everyone in the company about their aches and pains of mind and body. And I can help!!!! If I could just get the info out there.

Plank it!

This is the challenge I've been doing. I'm posting it here so I have a quick reference. I'm tired of searching through my timeline for it!!!

I forgot to mention Sunday that I made my own hand sanitizer. This is the recipe I used, which I amalgamized from a few different ones.

1- 2 oz glass squirt bottle (can be found at health food or beauty store)
1 Tbs Witch Hazel
2 oz Aloe Vera Gel (99% aloe)
1/4 tsp. Vitamin E oil (I actually have a jar of those little pods. I used one pod, which is about 1/4 tsp.)
10 drops doTERRA essential oils

• 2 drops each On Guard, White Fir, Lavender
• 4 drops Melaleuca (Tea Tree)

Put oils in a non-plastic bowl (glass is best, but you could use ceramic or metal). Add Witch Hazel and swirl around. Add Vitamin E and then Aloe Vera. Whisk together. Pour into squirt bottle. You could also use a flip top, as long as the bottle itself is glass and preferably a dark color. The Vitamin E will act as both a moisturizer and preservative. Give your bottle a quick shake before each use as the components will naturally separate over time. 

I have no idea how good this really is. Maybe it's more expensive than just using all the little bottles of hand sanitizer I have lying around? Certainly all the ingredients are more costly for me to get myself, but I use way less per pump, and it doesn't accidentally spill all over or pour too much out, or leave my hands dry, and it's not chemical laden. All this stuff about how anti-bacterial everything has lead to super-bugs really skeeves me out! I'm not a germophobe at all, but I also have no desire to catch MRSA. 

So there's my recipe for something that already has a million recipes out there. Give it a try! Tell me what you think!! 

Ruh roh

Serious sinus drainage today, and I have to do Cocoanuts focus tomorrow. Yuck!!

Feeling moderately accomplished this weekend. I went through my yarn stash. Dumped some old scraps and unwound spaghetti messes; made one dryer ball; have a box of stuff I'm never going to actually do anything with ready to be put up on Etsy for sale. I started my taxes and scrubbed the floor in the kitchen and about half the dining room. I also started playing Uncharted.

Tomorrow night, after focus, I need to kick my butt in gear on some business stuff. I bought new ink cartridges today so I can make some flyers to post up around town. I'll start with any public notice boards in Talent, and maybe branch out to Ashland. I have a Tupperware party coming up this Saturday. I hope it is more successful that the last one!

Rep Focus

As promised, I shall give you some insight into the process which we cal Rep Focus.

I work for a large regional theatre that produces 11 plays in three spaces, in rotating rep, over the course of 8ish months. Preparations for those shows happen year round. Your intrepid Illumination Solutioneers in the Lighting department are on contract from January to November (though our Master Electricians do work year round). The first two weeks of the year are spent prepping our Mainstage and Black Box theatres for the first four shows that will open in February. The mainstage will see 5 plays produced, with up to 4 at a time. We start with 3, then in April add one more. One will close in July and another will open shortly there after.

To accommodate the lighting needs of all the shows, we work of what are know as rep plots. Our department manager, with input from all the designers working in the space, designs a basic light plot that provides the most versatile and useful coverage for all shows. There are about 200 lighting instruments in the mainstage rep plot: A front system, a two color pair side system, and two down systems for all areas, along a cyc and groundrow system. This year we also added a backlight system using the Nexeras that are now discontinued and we have replaced with PL4s.

On focus day, we all gather round the donut box and divide up into groups of people who will focus and those that will be go-fers or continue any special projects we have. There are 4-5 people in the air focusing, one person running the light board and marking the plot, and one person onstage focusing. For most focuses, our department manager does the actual focusing, and one of the MEs runs the board. We start downstage and work our way upstage and out, attempting to hit every light in the air in 8 hours. This is not as much time as you would think. This year we went over by about 45 minutes, which is fairly typical. Last year we didn't finish, so the MEs stayed late to get it done.

What is focusing? Focusing is where we point the lighting instruments to the area they want to light up. The majority of the stage floor (and hopefully the entirety of the acting area, but with some of our directors you never can tell, or more truthfully, you know they are gonna stray) is divided up into "areas". For lighting purposes, to get the best coverage (there's a lot of math involved), we employ two sets of areas, a "numbered" system and a "lettered" system. The numbers get front and down light, the letters side and down. When we are going through the catwalks, also know as "the ceiling", we are aiming each light at it's designated area, making sure it is aligned correctly for best lumen output and even coverage, making sure the shutters move smoothly and can achieve the angles we need, and that the color and pattern holding accessory slots are easily reachable. As part of the changeover process between shows, we will change the color and patterns in the fixtures twice a day, as well as adjust the shutters to match the angles of the set, or any shape the designer specifies. For Rep Focus though, we leave everything "open". Here's a picture of an ETC Source Four for some reference.

This year we had a new beast the wrestle with: the Selecon PLProfile 4. 

You can't tell from the picture, but these things are long. Seriously almost as tall as me with the c-clamp. Therefore, if they hang straight down, they not only hang beneath the acoustical clouds, they hang directly in the path of some of the other ellipsoidal lights, most notably the side system. This meant a lot of fanangaling. And it is no small task. Moving these things around in our space is a two person job at least. Also, there were several that I was virtually useless for moving because I had no solid, safe reach. We had to go back at least twice and refocus a few lights that had already been done because we realized a few lights later that the PL4 had to be rehung. These shenanigans slowed the whole process down a bit. We made some very good discoveries though, and have info for making these instruments work better for us next year. 

The other interesting that we have discovered about the PL4s, and LED color mixing fixtures in general, is that they need delicate fine tuning when it comes to color palettes. Not every light in the system will mix the same way. These particular fixtures are calibrated to 3 onboard presets: Cool White, Warm White, and Daylight. Each LED is separately calibrated, and since there is no batch uniformity across the individual LEDs, when you go through colors, there can be a wide variation from fixture to fixture, and even LED to LED. We will have our work cut out for us getting them to all play nice. 

Onstage rehearsals start this week, which means show specific focuses. I'm up first!!! Go Cocoanuts!

Selfie!

Today I'm taking an evening for myself. No hour. No business. I did do some internet research for business and wellness stuff I've been thinking about. But now I'm tired. I am going to go plank, then put my baby in bed with me and snuggle. I really want to write a post about today's rep focus, but I will save that for tomorrow night when I am less tired.

Experiments in ingredients

Today is spent an hour baking cookies as a surprise "payment" to my BF's mom for watching Char tomorrow and bailing me out of a deep dark tide pool. Finding last minute daycare is incredibly stressful.

What I learned in the process of baking these cookies:

When it say butter or margarine or something like that, I should use that. I tried doing 1/2 margarine, 1/2 coconut oil. While yummy, the VCO does not have the same consistency and does not hold all the parts together very well. I'm sure there is some kind of substitution method/rubric, but I was winging it.

Essential oil need to be mixed into the "liquid" portion of whatever I'm baking. This advice is given in every blog I've read so far, but I wasn't thinking about it at the time. I put in my EO when I would have put in extract, at the end, on top of everything else. So some of the cookies are VERY Lavender (which is fine and yummy), and some of the cookies are kinda Lavender (which is also fine and yummy, just more subtle).

When cooking with VCO, it will take twice as long. Well, at least these cookies did. I probably could have gotten away with a little less time, but I think it worked out okay.


There are some reasonably shaped cookies, which I will give, but most of them are nondescript mounds of hardened dough. The dough was very pilly because of the VCO, so it just didn't go together right and was very crumbly.

I have another recipe to try, but I need to grab a few ingredients, and I'm not sure when that will be. I have been going through a serious reality shock recently, and I need to get my finances in line with what may be on my horizon. So not alot of new projects for me, but working on getting stuff I already have going further down the pipe.

Not enough hours in the day

I did not achieve my 1 hour of building today. I did get a fair amount dishes done though.

I embark on the new day 5 of the plank challenge. Then to spend time with my man. I don't get enough of that currently, or enough time with my kid. It is weighing on me. So for the night, I'm gonna build my family.

Sick day

I did not go to work today. The only thing that got me out of bed finally, at nearly 10am, was the fact that I needed to feed my kid. I spent most of the rest of the day propped up in some fashion, until about 5 pm. An almost to the minute 24hr stomach bug.

Instead of building anything for one solid hour, I spent the day experimenting with oils and building my health. My wonderful friend Jessika dropped of some DigestZen softgels, which along with what I'd already been doing (lemon water/ginger ale, peppermint tea, DigestZen topically on my stomach, PastTense on my forehead and neck) really kick started me to feeling a whole lot better. I believe I will venture forth tomorrow. I will also be going to bed very soon to up my chances of leaving the house.

So far my family has been very supportive of my endeavors. Two are already doTERRA users!! That's exciting to me. Even if they are going through someone else to get their oils, it's great that they are already in my network. I also got one enrollment today, and handed out a few more Tupperware catalogs yesterday. Things are looking up. I just needed an attitude shift and to remain positive. Sometimes the spigot is slow at first, until some pressure has built up.

Solicitation

I have achieved my 1+ hour of building today by focusing on my Tupperware business. When I got home today, my business kit was waiting for me. I took it in right away, started unpacking it, and just now finished everything I wanted to get done with it tonight. Other than familiarizing myself with the basic kit and getting my bag partially set up, my main goal was to get an email out to my family and close friends letting them know about my new ventures. It was a doozy, and I've actually been working on it for a few days.

I'm not a sales person. Yes, I have worked in retail, and I have even been the "sales counter girl" for a warehouse. I still do not do well with cold sales or even like engaging in that kind of marketing. But the bottom line here is I need to do SOMETHING for my financial well being, and that means I need the support of my loved ones. Even if they never buy anything from me. Even if it's just good thoughts. Even if they don't finish reading the email and only download the pics of Char Star. I do feel some sense of guilt at soliciting them to check out my obviously money/sales based ventures and websites. I have never done anything like this before, and I'm not sure I worded anything right, and it felt really long, but that's what I got. I laid it all out there, concisely as possible, and without begging. I'm simply giving them the opportunity to give what I'm doing a look-see. And that is truly all I can ask. Some of them have already participated in the Tupperware online party, but I still wanted them to know WHY I'm doing this. And hopefully more of them will at least tell me they love me and hope it all goes well.

Everyone starts somewhere right? I've opened up my door locally, now it's time to cast a wider net.

Pipeline, not buckets

Today was better than yesterday. Let all days be so. The only downside is a strange pain in my abdomen, but that seems to be dissipating. I'm chalking it up to sympathetic pregnancy syndrome with my friend who is pregnant and has gallstones. (I am NOT pregnant. No one freak out.)

It has been a long full day, but I feel like I have made progress on quite a few things. It is a new goal of mine to finish what I've started. I'm terrible at this. I like to start projects. I have tons of ideas, and I always think "I will do this thing!!!" I get all the supplies, I make myself a little area, and then... nothing happens. Everything just sits. But right now, hear you me, I'm committing. I will "build" for an hour a day. This can mean reading in my profession(s), or making something, or cooking something new, or baking. Just making something happen for myself. Building my career, my health, my life. Building for my family. This is my new goal. I'm ready to make it happen.

Falling off

Well...... I missed a day. Almost missed two to be honest, but I remembered I hadn't updated yet, and I'm trying this on my tablet for the first time. I think a laptop is better, but I don't want to go back downstairs. I also did not start the plank challenge again until tonight, but I did restart. Now I only need Char star not to get sick again.

It has been a long, rough week. Aside from babyness, I'm just not doing as well as I'd like at my side ventures. I put the word out there about my party, massively. Emails, Facebook, flyers. 3 greatly appreciated people showed up, and so far 3 more greatly appreciated people have purchased online. It is a small start, but it is a start. DoTERRA on the other hand, is currently going nowhere, and that was what I had thought I'd be concentrating on. Time to shift gears? Or it hasn't been long enough. It's been less than a month still, and I was on vacation for part of it and now I'm back to work full time. I guess I just have to keep putting myself out there.

Non-positive firsts

Tonight is the first time Char baby has really thrown up. Whatever her issue has been the last few nights, I hope it is now out of her system. But now I have to lull a restless baby back to sleep at 1230 in the morning!!!! Probably in bed with me, since her bedding is getting washed and I'm honestly too tired to put it all back together.

I've totally fallen off the plank challenge with her being sick, so tomorrow I'm starting over from day one. That's the only way I can feel right about proceeding. My hope was to finish in January, but that is not going to happen.

I'm really hoping that tomorrow night is better because I have to power clean the downstairs for our party on Sunday. I had meant to possibly do some tonight, but I fell asleep around 9, and woke up about an hour ago to Char crying. Thankfully, having got that much sleep, I was ready to deal with the clean up, even if she wasn't.

And now I attempt to get us back to sleep. Oh boy!!

Building

Another late night, but a much chiller day. Thank goodness.

Last night I went to my first public doTERRA event. This weekend I host my first Tupperware party followed by a doTERRA info session. I'm very excited to have all this inspiration and support going on. And I made my first flyer ever!!!!!

I feel really good about it. I hope it looks as good when I print it.

We are doing a refresher course on the Eos family of lighting consoles at work. Today was the basic intro stuff. Tomorrow we will dig a little deeper into programming functions and other software stuff. It's really informative. And they shipped us a new Eos Ti as an extra board and it is sexy. I just want to pet it. I even wrote that as a note.

Rough

Today was a rough day. 2 hours sleep tending to a discomforted baby. Frustrating stalls at work and in work. The bright part of the day was attending a doTERRA event with my dear friend Myfawny. It reaffirmed my decision to go down this path. While the event itself was a little "Ashlandy" for my general taste, it was very inspiring. I have also decided to add a doTERRA "post" to my Tupperware party. While officially they will be two separate events, it's a great opportunity to get a wide audience.

I was tasked today to be happy the whole year. Little know fact, I don't believe in the permanence of "happy". "Happy" is temporary. Positive is lasting. Joy and contentment are lasting. Success and growth are lasting. In that spirit, what was almost a very detailed post of complaints about "why today sucked", turn completely around and becomes this succinct jot about what was good in my day. Now, to fullfil step #3 of the Wellness Pyramid, I'll shall get some rest. Good night.

Busy bees

Today has become somewhat unexpectedly full.

I woke up early to take Char baby to a new daycare. Work was worky. We got our PL4s and they are brutes. It takes two people to safely hang them on the over stage electrics. Fun!! At lunch time I officially became a Tupperware consultant!!! My website is my2.tupperware.com/mariachunn. I will be hosting a party this Sunday! For those of you in the Rogue Valley, doors will open at my home at 3 pm. Be there or be Tupperware-less. I am working on adding an online component for those out of towners.

The most challenging part of my day though occurred when I picked Char up to go home. My darling man graciously picked her up from daycare as the provider had an appointment before I got off work. They went to our friend's house in Ashland and chilled til I could come get her. However, for whatever reason, she was very tired and ended up falling asleep in his car while he grabbed himself a drive thru dinner. She stayed asleep at the house, in my friend's guest room, until right before I got there. She was okay hanging out for a bit, but as soon as we got in the car, she began crying. She cried all the way home. I had planned to go to Fred Meyer after a pit stop for a diaper change and coupons, but that went out the window as soon as we got inside. She was inconsolable. Just a mess. She wanted to be held, walked around, put down; she wanted to see her toys downstairs, but cried when she picked any up or I tried to give her one. We went upstairs. She wanted her music boxes, but only if I held her while they played. She wanted her blankie and her bottle, even in the bathtub, which did calm her down a bit. She had a stuffy, runny nose, but wouldn't let me clean it. She had a little bit of diaper rash, but has definitely had worse, though she didn't want me to put anything on that either. She didn't really want me touching her at all (I noticed her skin was a little dry), but she wanted to curl up in my lap. I finally got some lotion on her body and some vaseline with a little lavendar oil on her for the rash. I brought a warm bottle upstairs, and all of a sudden she just relaxed. Got her into her pajamas with no problem, and rubbed frankincense, lemon, and lavendar oil in coconut oil on her feet. She was out in about 5 minutes once she settled into her crib. She just woke up, about 2 hours later, but I just went in and rubbed her back a little bit, and she seems to have gone back to sleep. Oi!!!!

This is the first time since she was an infant that I have truly been at a loss as to how to calm her. NOTHING seemed to be helping. Bottle and blankie always work in the short term, but I wish I could figure out the actual problem. I hoping that it was just being worn out, from playing and from her first entire day being with new/"strange" people (kids).

So here I am at the end of my day. I'm sore. I still need to continue  my plank challenge and take my vitamins. I did manage to make a new to me dinner tonight that I will also have for at least one lunch this week. Super simple: Half box shell pasta, one can sweet corn, one can peas, a little lemon juice, a little olive oil, garlic salt, pepper, parmasean- toss, serve. According to Natalie, she will now consider considering me an adult because I purchased black pepper. Not sure what the rest of the criteria are, but I'm confident she will notify me when I've past my adulthood test. :)

The Road to Independent Financial Well Being

Everyone wants more money. This is because we live in a culture that relies on money as a means of trade. Can you imagine living without cash? Or a monetary system based on chance? Probably not, but that's really what we live with. Printed money is one big game of diminishing returns. But this is how we function.

My whole life I have lived the middle class conundrum of having just enough money to be considered having enough money. What does this mean?? No college scholarships, grants, or subsidized loans, even though both my parents and I had to take out money for me to go to a university. With that degree, in the Bay Area, I made decent money, but still had to work as much as possible to get by. My last year there I had 10 w-2s. 10. And 2 1099s. And I still pretty much broke even on my taxes. I think I made a total of $40k and got about $700 total back between fed and state.

When I moved to Oregon, I decided to only have one job. That worked for 6 years. Now, though, so much has changed that I need to find other opportunities. I am a solo parent (by choice) and a sort-of homeowner. I make about $100 too much per month to qualify for any support services while I'm working. In the off season, when I am on unemployment, I can get WIC, and it is a godsend, especially during January. I always apply in December, so that I have been off contract for a few weeks, and because qualification is in 6 month increments. Therefore, we get assistance through May. January is rough because I can no longer claim unemployment because I am technically earning money, yet I don't see any of that for almost 3 weeks because of pay periods. Yeah, it blows.

Unemployment insurance itself is another reason I'm looking for more opportunities. I'm over it. This year was just the absolute last straw. I'm tired of the hoops I have to jump through; of being talked down to and patronized when I try to explain my situation and how their system doesn't even provide the correct tools for my industry; of the ridiculously strict guidelines that don't account for everything, yet don't allow any wiggle room. I am so done. It may mean giving up my WIC, yes, but if I can find ways to generate income on top of my regular job and therefore not have to rely on this system, I will be so much happier.

To that end, I've already signed up with doTerra International Essential Oils, (link in the sidebar!!) and am working on getting signed up with Tupperware (link to come). Though it's a story for another post, I have been using doTerra for almost a month now, and the oils have really helped my repetitive stress injury. I'm still on a journey with them, learning, using, sharing. I know they aren't for everyone. I know that there is a lot of skepticism. But guess what? That's goes for EVERYTHING EVER, and I'm not trying to force anyone. I also don't HAVE to do the business side, and neither does anyone who buys from or signs up through me, but I CAN, so why not?? I'm a terrible sales person by nature, but I'm never going to advance any part of any career if I don't learn how to close a deal. And I need to start moving in some direction. I can't be an entry level worker bee forever. I don't want to be either. If I can gain confidence and skill from these ventures, so much the better.

I do have an Etsy store as well, but that link and any marketing will have to wait as well. There isn't anything of note in it yet, and I am trying to decide how to focus it so that I can easily share it, and maybe grab a niche. It is also currently based around knit goods, which are harder to produce with my injury. I'm hoping that as I heal, through good medical care both mainstream and alternative, I will be able to get back into knitting as more than a hobby, but that is a little ways off still. I am also considering "monetizing" this here blog with a few links, but I am still on the fence. Maybe I should make a poll to see if people would care?? I looked at Google's AdSense, which is already imbedded and I can activate if I so choose, but it's just like Facebook ads. I wouldn't really control the content, and I don't like the idea of infomining my own blog. What I would consider is an Amazon banner, or some other company, though I can't think of any that I would want to support that would probably have a program like that. I will have to keep throwing that idea around a bit longer as well.

I have absolutely no idea how any of this will go. All I can do it try.

High Five!

What is this? I've made it five day? Yippee!! Isn't it if you do something for 7 days then it's a habit? Well, I guess I'm close to a new habit.

Nothing too exciting happened today. We worked. Most of the over stage/house hang is done. Our shiny new fixtures should arrive on Tuesday. We are getting Selecon PL 4s. 34 total- 2 skids and a palette. That's a lot of lighting!

With work starting and my parents being in town, its been a few days since I've seen my honey. I miss him!! I'm bad at missing people. I don't usually do it. I know in the past people in my life have been put off by my ambivalent attitude toward presence, but dammit, I miss him. It's a little weird actually. And on top of that, he's pretty much the same way. More than once we have had the conversation about missing each other so much that it is out of character, even when we're only apart for a day or two. Moreover, though we text during these days, we aren't in constant contact. We don't need to know what the other one is doing 24/7 and who with. I believe it's because generally the information is volunteered, sometimes to the point of inanity, which I don't think I could stand from any other person. Example:
11am "Good morning babe."
11:15 "Morning darling."

1:50pm "Just got out of the shower. Hanging in my room."
2pm "Just off lunch. Going back to work."

6pm "Going to hang with my bros. We're gonna play Call of Duty."
630pm "Fun! Just got home. Snacking with Char. Might watch some tv."

WE ARE LAME!!!!! AND IT IS FABULOUS!!!

We make up for it by having long, winding, expansive conversations when we are together, and embarking on adventures of all kinds. (Though we dispute what constitutes an adventure, with my level 1 being his level 0. I think we had to get up to my level 3 for him to consider it adventure-worthy. But I'm teaching him. Haha.)

Bumps in the road

I am incredibly blessed to have the childcare situation that I do. Without Dawn, I am at a complete loss, in many ways. So when she is out of town, I am scrambling to get people to hang out with Char baby. Thankfully now I do have a wonderful man in my life who is happy to help out when needed. I try not to fall back on him too much though, because I know it is hard on him, not being a parent himself. On the flip side, I do my best not to rely on any one person or only a few people (though truthfully, there are only a few that I know will/can watch her). I always worry that these friends of mine will feel like they are being taken advantage of, simply because I don't have much to offer in return. I bake!!! And I can provide knit goods at some point in the future! Also, I will trade childcare if you also have kids! I know, for the most part, that those individuals that I rely on do not feel like I'm only using them for their willingness to put up with a ridiculously smart toddler, but I still want them to know they are very much appreciated.

As much as I can afford, I find "regular" daycare/ professional babysitters. But let me tell ya, it is spendy. I can't believe it sometimes. I can't imagine having to pay for all day care 5 days a week at the rate a traditional place is asking. Even one week is about 25% of my budget after bills. Yikes. I wouldn't eat. Seriously. There would be no money to buy food or anything else for myself. Jesus. How do people do this?? I looked into assistance, just to see what my outlook is in case there comes a day where Dawn is no longer available, and dammit but I don't qualify. Story of my life. I make just enough money (like by $100/mo) to be deemed above the line. Shucks. Too bad day care costs something like $1000/mo. Who the hell thought up this math?

This adventure is really just renewing my pledge to get myself financially independent of "the system". Building whatever income sources I can. I have a plan for doTerra that I am about to implement, and I think tomorrow I will be ordering my starter kit for Tupperware. If my wrists will hold up through the build and tech, I will hopefully be knitting more, and maybe some of those items can be passed along through Etsy. I also want to start making my own skin care products for myself, and again, maybe if that is easy and reasonable to share, I can either put those on Etsy, or just go word of mouth. There is alot of opportunity out there. Not all of it is monetary either. It's about building a support system and a market; connecting with people who want to serve each other.

3 is the magic number

What?? Day 3? Shocking.

Hit day 2 of the plank challenge. I need to start stretching in the morning. For now I'll go simple, but I'm thinking I eventually want to get back into doing a full Sun Salutation flow at least once through. This will probably make the dude laugh when he's here, but then again, he'd most likely sleep through it.

The great "boyfriend babysitting for 5 hours at a time 2 days in a row" experiment was a success. They are both still alive and well. It's a good thing they are buddies. Pretty soon they are gonna have a secret handshake.

I am more tired and more achey.

My parents are in town for about 36 hours because they love me, and more importantly, they love my kid (maybe more than me, haha). They are taking babysitting duties tomorrow while her regular sitter is still out of town. Next week we go to daycare 4 days in a row. Yikes!!! This is the next adventure.

And now it's time for bed. Lots to do tomorrow, mostly work. Sunday I'm hoping to get Disneyland pictures posted.

1/2 buckle my shoe

Plank challenge day one complete. Thinking about "monetizing" the blog. On the fence. I suppose I wouldn't mind Amazon, since it seems practical and convenient. I did post a link to my webstore in the sidebar. FYI y'all.

Oh yeah, and back to work. I forgot my braces today. Not so good move. Must remember tomorrow. Sticking with the regimen I've been on, plus starting the LLV and half strength. Time for ice cream.

New Year, New Me

The Internet. Great denizen of accountability through public declaration of things that may or may not been seen by others. But hey, I'll have to believe ONE person will see this, and therefore I will feel responsible to hold myself accountable.

2014 in the house!!!

Things I plan to do this year:

Lose the last baby weight. Really it's the mama weight. I didn't know it was possible to be an uncomfortably chunky size 2/4 until having a kid. Yes, I realize that is a low pants size, but that doesn't mean I feel good in the pants. So far I have decided to start the morning by planking (the exercise, not the photo trend) as long as possible. This morning I did one minute. That is a great starting point. I hope to add 5-10 secs a day, with no particular end goal. 3 minutes might be good, I don't know. I really want to get back into yoga too. I did about 20 min of a video today, and just, well... classes are better. Something about tapping into everyone's energy to focus and push you along. This however means finding an inexpensive, easy to get to place to take a class at a time when I can get child care. Big request.

I want to end this year at a point where I do not have to rely on unemployment insurance. The system is so. broken. I understand the "why", but the "how" has become unbearably frustrating. To that end, I have recently joined the doTerra family, and really want to make a go at the business end of things, on top of my regular full time job. They gave me a webstore!! http://www.mydoterra.com/mariarenee I am considering signing up for Tupperware as well, but haven't pulled the trigger just yet.

Speaking of doTerra, I want to commit to overall wellness for my family. I have my own ailments I need to heal, but I also want to be proactive with our health in general and finding ways to create a sustainable environment. Reduse, recycle, reuse. Be good to ourselves. Walk more, drive less (which is hard with a toddler and working in a different city than you live). Try to support local business over big box, and support my friends and family in their endeavors, whatever those may be.

I want to fall more madly deeply in love with my amazing companion. He's incredibly awesome, whether he wants to believe it or not. He carried my kid on his back up (and back down) a hill for crying out loud!!! That's... sigh... so unbelievably sexy. :-) It's wonderful to have a mutual respect and appreciation; to be able to talk about anything and everything, even when it's a disagreement or a misunderstanding. Yeah, I'm getting a little teary, I feel that lucky. Shucks.

I want my daughter to continue growing into the awesome person I know she's gonna be. She way too smart, and precocious. It's going to be a 5 star rollercoaster, this one. It's a good thing I love rollercoasters. We are nearing on potty training. One more bastion of freedom. Soon she'll be driving, and then goodbye kiddo!!! Haha. Somedays it feels like that.


Overall I want to commit to having a good year no matter what comes my way. I want to be successful in all my ventures. I want to be healthy and happy. Alright... here it goes...